Yesterday Danny approached me with an air of arrogance "Guess who says I'm the best school lunch maker?" I stopped reading my book and glanced up at him " ummmm kaila?" was my half hearted guess. "Oh yeah" he bragged "According to our very observant 8 year old I'm even better than you" He grinned wide exposing all his top and bottom teeth.
He went on to brag about how this innocent, yet obviously perceptive child, had explained to him how he always put the best food in the lunches he pack never forgetting to add in special touches like hand written notes and surprises at the bottom.....his attention to detail makes all her friends jealous and "wish they had such awesome dads" and I quote.
Studying my face and finding it lacking in significant jealousy my dear naive husband demanded to know why I wasn't foaming at the mouth in envy. I smiled the smile of a knowing mother and explained. " The girls are in charge if making their own lunches you know? And as we both clearly have accepted our youngest is by far the laziest offspring we have yet to produce." he readily agreed.
"Well then let's think about this for a second shall we?" I tipped my head sideways in mock thought "Did you just spend the last 20 minutes packing her lunch for tomorrow?" he nodded suspiciously
"And let me guess you searched the pantry for several yummy treats -cookies, pudding cup, granola bar and added them ALL to her lunch, not just one like she knows is the rule right?" he glanced sideways choosing to avoid eye contact.
My tone became light and playful "Oh and I bet you carefully drew a cartoon image on her napkin and placed it proudly on top of her mountain of sugary treats, a monument of dad greatness?" he coughed uncomfortably
I continued "Finally you took the time to write her name with flare on the outside of the bag and even dotted the "I" in kaila with a flower instead of a plain old dot right?" He chewed his bottom lip thoughtfully.
"So" I recapped "your lazy, but brilliantly manipulative daughter, avoided making her lunch for tomorrow, she will not only enjoy the standard one dessert but 3, will receive a personalized note and custom artwork to show off to her friends AND she got to enjoy an extra 20 minutes of TV tonight while you prepared it all?" I finished this statement by leaning back in my seat and lacing my fingers together in a standard super villain pose.
His smile was now replaced with a crestfallen expression.....he was a man who knew he had been doped.
I patted his arm lovingly. Don't worry about it love, you ARE the best school lunch packer in the family no matter the reason. he smiled weakly. "Hey and do you know what else you are AMAZING at?" I exclaimed with wide eyes "Rubbing feet! Seriously your hands are like magic!" he smiled at me appreciatively "Thanks babe" he sighed "You always know what to say to make me feel better" I batted my lashes at him and carefully stretched my achy feet into his lap and dramatically rubbed my growing pregnant belly.
"Hey why don't I grab the lotion and give you a foot rub" he innocently offered sweetly. I clasped my hands together in excitement. "That would be wonderful!" I said with obvious admiration and handed him the lotion bottle I just happen to have nearby.
Gosh I love that man! :)
